I have been single for my adult life thus far. Well, except for that brief period when I was kind of dating someone, but he didn't want to make it official, because he was in the closet. Other than that, I've never been in any type of relationship. I've tried dating sites, joining social groups, going to the bars and making a pact with the devil, but none of those have worked. In fact, the devil owes me now.
In most cases, I've been the one to pursue guys. Very rarely do they pursue me, and when they do, it's rarely the ones that I want. I'm stuck in that middle: I want the guys that are unavailable or uninterested, and I'm not interested in the ones that want me. What's a Black and Gold Gay to do?
So, I've come to the conclusion that I need to stop pursuing guys. Stop going on gay.com, stop making thinly veiled attempts at hitting on people that I know, stop making a complete ass of myself. I've made this vow before, only to break it. Well, let's see how well I can hold up on it this time. If they want me, they can come to me now. That's the only way I know they're truly interested. And if they're not the ones I want, then oh well. Eventually, the ones that I want will want me back. And if not, there's always the monastery.
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