Those Bourgeois Gays....

I know what you're thinking. I'm not a Marxist or a Communist. I've just had it with the Bourgeois gays. I recently received an e-mail about an event my football league was having for the Superbowl. From the subject in my inbox, it read "ARE YOU READY FOR THE BIG GAME?" So I'm thinking it's just some casual Superbowl party. Wrong! There are tickets ranging from $40-$65. There's a freaking Host Committee and event co-chairs. There's a silent auction where you can bid on Coach bags and Lucky Brand Jeans gift cards.

Here are my questions/issues with this. What if you're not rolling in cash? In this economy, some people (me included) can't afford to spend (and shouldn't spend) $65 on a VIP ticket and then for a silent auction where they can win a Coach bag. Who the hell needs a Coach bag? I mean, they're nice. It's obviously a status symbol. But does owning one mean you've "made it?" If you don't have one, have you failed? Is this a way for the bourgeois gays to feel exclusive?

I'm certainly not begrudging people who have wealth. If you can afford a nice pair of jeans, buy a nice pair of jeans. When I have money, I go shopping. But I go to Gap and H&M, not Diesel. I think I can look nice wearing Levi's. They make my ass look great. But even if I had a job where I had some disposable income, I don't know if I would buy things that are more expensive. I'd probably get more manicures and pedicures, but those aren't so expensive. Maybe I'd go to Starbucks more often. But maybe I'd give money to charitable organizations.

Do bourgeois gays make these events with tickets and cover charges to exclude those who are without? I'm not sure. I'd certainly hope not. That would kind of perpetuate the negative stereotypes of gay people. Could I date a bourgeois gay? If he was down-to-earth and not a snob.

I know it sounds like I'm bitter because I'm  not part of the exclusive club. But why does there need to be one in the first place? I'm not proposing that all gays of different socio-economic statuses hold hands and sing Kum-Bye-Yah, but rather, remember what it was like to not have money.  Maybe then they'd be a little less bourgeoisie and more...inclusive. That's the dream, anyway. Call me Joseph. That's a Biblical/Broadway reference. Look it up.

A Bold Decision

I have been single for my adult life thus far. Well, except for that brief period when I was kind of dating someone, but he didn't want to make it official, because he was in the closet. Other than that, I've never been in any type of relationship. I've tried dating sites, joining social groups, going to the bars and making a pact with the devil, but none of those have worked. In fact, the devil owes me now.

In most cases, I've been the one to pursue guys. Very rarely do they pursue me, and when they do, it's rarely the ones that I want. I'm stuck in that middle: I want the guys that are unavailable or uninterested, and I'm not interested in the ones that want me. What's a Black and Gold Gay to do?

So, I've come to the conclusion that I need to stop pursuing guys. Stop going on gay.com, stop making thinly veiled attempts at hitting on people that I know, stop making a complete ass of myself. I've made this vow before, only to break it. Well, let's see how well I can hold up on it this time. If they want me, they can come to me now. That's the only way I know they're truly interested. And if they're not the ones I want, then oh well. Eventually, the ones that I want will want me back. And if not, there's always the monastery.

Complete randomness...

This post is just going to be random thoughts, so hold on...

My Steelers are playing the Ravens today. I'm glad I get to watch the game here in Philly, otherwise I'd be unhappy. I'm worried, even though the Steelers hold the edge in the matchup. The road team won both games in the season series,  which is bad, because the Steelers are at home. I still believe they can knock out the Ravens. Don't let me down, Ben!

So I'm still looking for a job, three months after I started. I know in the grand scheme of things, that's not bad, considering I graduated last month. But it's frustrating and disheartening, especially since I don't have a lot of money to do fun things. I couldn't go out last night, and I probably won't go out tonight due to lack of funds. I don't know what I'm doing wrong with my job search, since I'm not getting ANY responses from the dozens of resumes I've sent to prospective employers. Oh, well....I'll just keep chugging away.

That's all for now. More to come later. Maybe I'll get some Starbucks...

A quickie...or maybe not

Okay, so I haven't posted in three days. Sue me. Actually, you won't get anything, since I'm broke and unemployed (cue the violins...). Tonight (I'm still counting this as Wednesday. It doesn't count as Thursday until I go to bed and get up) I had rehearsal for my choir. Now, I'm not a fan of going to rehearsal. We practice for three hours. That's a long time to be focusing on one task. I know, most people do it all the time. But that's torture for me. Even though we get a 15-minute break, it's still taxing.

So as I was saying, we had rehearsal tonight. We were learning the music for our upcoming concert. Something to confess here: I can barely read music. I know what quarter-notes and half-notes and whole notes look like. But don't ask me for how long to hold the note. I just follow the lead of people around me and hope to hell they're getting it right. I was so lost at points throughout the night where I just stopped singing and stood there with this annoyed/frustrated look on my face. I was tempted to throw my music on the ground, scream "Fuck it!" and storm out. But I didn't because a) I'm sure the people in the choir think I'm weird enough already and b) see "a." So I just joined in at the parts where I was semi-comfortable with what we were singing.

Here's another confession to make: I have crushes on people in the choir. That alone isn't shocking. The problem is that some of these guys are partnered. I would love nothing more than for these guys to take one look at me and decide to throw their respective relationships down the toilet, all just to be with me. I know that's not realistic, but whatever.

And then there are the guys that are single, but I don't think are attracted to me. There are two guys in particular, we'll call them "P" and "J." I actually went on a non-date with P. I think he's very attractive, but I get the impression he doesn't feel the same way. Then there's J. J is kind of shy and quiet and I don't think he would make the first move if he were interested. But I don't like being the one to make the first move either. I've put myself out there too many times. I want some guy that I like to like me back and make it obvious. Is that too much to ask?

Enough of my bitching. It's time to go to sleep and let Thursday happen. Catch yinz later 'n at!

Back from the Big Apple

So I recently returned from New York. I had a fantastic time there. I was hoping to have my traveling companion with me, but alas, she was befallen by something pretty nasty. Therefore, I did my trip solo. I was wondering how I was going to amuse myself for three days, but I managed to stay entertained.

I went out every night, and every night I ended up in the West Village. My favorite bar in that area is the historic Stonewall Inn, site of the Stonewall Riots of 1969. Now I've heard that the modern-day bar is not in the original area, but after speaking with one of the owners last night, I learned this is simply not true. Good thing I was set straight, as it were.

It's easy to make comparisons between Philly and New York. For example, New York's mass transit system is the most expansive in the U.S. While it may be daunting at first, it's actually quite enjoyable once you know where you're going. There's a sense of comfort when I'm on the Subway that I don't have here. The stations are cleaner, bigger, brighter. I feel safer on New York's subways than I do on Philly's. Maybe it's due to the increased presence of the NYPD.

Speaking of the NYPD, I have to tip my cap to them. Now I only speak from experience, but I think  New York's police are friendlier (and better-looking) than Philly's police. I had a quick chat with a very handsome and friendly policeman at one of the subway stops, which is something I don't think would happen in Philly, unless I was a hot girl. I find the NYPD to be more professional.

I also think it's easier to kill time in New York, due to its size and just abundance of opportunities. While I enjoy going to Center City and South Street, I had no problems wasting several hours while in Manhattan. Times Square is absolutely insane, and the rest of the borough is walkable and there are tons of shops just to browse.

Now, does this mean I'll be moving to New York? I'm not sure. It all depends on job opportunities. If I get a good job offer in Philly, I'll stay here. If I get one in New York, I'll go there. But I can make it work here. Plus, if I moved, how would I be able to watch NBC 10's John Clark or CBS 3's Chris May? I shudder at the thought.

Off to the Big Apple

Hey readers (I hope there's at least two of you, otherwise....awkward),

I'm heading to NYC today to take a civil service exam tomorrow. The exam is for a police administrative aide position, which would be my dream job. For those of you who don't know me, I LOVE cops. Well, most of them; the ones that aren't dickheads. But to me, there's nothing sexier than seeing a man in uniform. I'm a fan of most uniforms, from police to UPS to chef.

But if I got this job, I would never get any work done, because I'd be too busy flirting with the officers. The other problem is the job only pays $30,000/year, which isn't enough to live in New York. Oh, well...at least this gives me an excuse to go up there this weekend. I don't know how often I'll post when I'm up there, but I'll give it a try. :)

If I Only Were a Gaysian....

I think I would like to be born as a gaysian in my next life. Gaysians and Gay Latin men (Gaytin?) seem to have this appeal that I cannot explain. You see them draped on the arms of some of the most attractive (and wealthy) members of the gay community. I think maybe the early Greeks had gaysians as pool boys.

My question is this: What do gaysians and gaytins have that most of us don't? Is it the exotic appeal? Some sort of mystique? Better fashion sense? Can anyone answer this? Gaysians and/or Gaytins: I turn to you for your knowledge. I want a hot sugar daddy. Can you teach me your ways?